Why does the mind get stuck and what helps?
Overthinking can feel exhausting. One thought turns into ten. You replay conversations, second-guess your decisions, imagine worst-case scenarios, and still feel no clearer.
If this happens to you, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. More often, it means your mind is trying to protect you from uncertainty, regret, or emotional pain. The problem is that it usually ends up making you feel more anxious, not less.
What is overthinking?
Overthinking is when the mind gets caught in repetitive loops of worry, doubt, analysis, or self-criticism.
It can look like:
- replaying conversations in your head
- mentally checking whether you did the right thing
- going over the same decision repeatedly
- imagining what might go wrong
- seeking reassurance from other people, Google, or AI
Sometimes this is worry, which tends to focus on the future. Sometimes it is rumination, which often focuses on the past. Either way, it can leave you feeling stuck.
Why does it happen?
Usually, overthinking starts as an attempt to solve a problem or prevent something going wrong. The mind tells you that if you think about it enough, you will feel more certain, more prepared, or more in control.
But the brain often learns the opposite lesson: uncertainty is dangerous, so keep thinking.
That is how the cycle grows.
What keeps it going?
Usually, it is not the first thought that causes the problem. It is what you do next.
That may include:
- going over it again and again
- checking how you feel
- asking for reassurance
- searching online for answers
- trying to get complete certainty before moving on
These responses may bring short-term relief, but they strengthen the habit in the long term.
What helps?
1. Regulate first
If your body is in threat mode, your thoughts will usually become louder and more catastrophic.
Try the physiological sigh:
- inhale through your nose
- take a second short inhale
- slowly exhale through your mouth
Repeat 2 to 3times.
2. Name the pattern
Try saying to yourself:
- I’m overthinking
- This is a worry loop
- My mind is trying to get certainty
That small bit of distance can help.
3. Ask: is this useful?
A helpful question is: Am I solving something, or am I circling it?
If you have already gone over it several times and are no clearer, more thinking is unlikely to help.
4. Move to action if action exists
Ask yourself: Is there something practical I can do?
- If yes, do that
- If no, this may be something to tolerate rather than solve
5. Stop making certainty the goal
A lot of overthinking is really a struggle with not knowing. But certainty is rarely fully available.
Sometimes the healthier move is:
- make a reasonable decision
- accept some uncertainty
- stop rehearsing every possible outcome
6. Watch reassurance-seeking
Overthinking often gets fuelled by repeatedly asking others, Googling, checking forums, or using AI to feel sure.
This may soothe you briefly, but it often keeps the cycle alive.
A useful question to come back to
When you notice yourself spiralling, ask: Do I need action, acceptance, or attention back in the present?
Sometimes there is something to do. Sometimes there is nothing to solve, only a loop to step out of.
When to seek support
It may be worth reaching out if overthinking is:
- affecting sleep
- fuelling anxiety
- making decisions feel impossible
- impacting relationships or work
- leaving you feeling exhausted or ashamed
Therapy for overthinking in London and online
Tara O’Donoghue is the founder of Homebased Talking Therapy, a senior psychotherapist based in Marylebone, London, offering therapy in person and online. Her work is evidence-based, highly personalised and integrative, drawing from CBT, ERP, BA, Compassion Focused Therapy, EMDR, and values-based approaches depending on your needs.
If you are struggling with overthinking, anxiety, rumination, or reassurance-seeking, therapy can help.
Contact
To enquire about psychotherapy sessions in Marylebone, London or online, you can get in touch here or email info@homebasedtalkingtherapy.com.