If low self-esteem or low self-confidence is shaping how you see yourself, through persistent self-criticism, self-doubt, or a sense of not being good enough; therapy can help you understand and reshape these deeply held beliefs. Low self-esteem often develops from early experiences and negative core beliefs that, over time, come to feel like facts. Offering self-esteem therapy in London and online, Tara O’Donoghue, a senior psychotherapist based in Marylebone with over 17 years’ experience in psychological therapy, provides a structured, evidence-based approach to help build a more balanced and stable sense of self. The following explains what low self-esteem is, what causes it, the symptoms to look out for, and how CBT can help.
What is low self-esteem and low self-confidence?
Self-esteem is how you view and value yourself as a person. When self-esteem is low, that view becomes persistently negative: a habit of judging yourself harshly and assuming the worst about who you are. These beliefs are often deep-seated and rigid, and over time they come to feel less like opinions and more like facts.
Low self-esteem rarely stays contained. It can affect how you feel day to day, through self-criticism and distress, and how you live, shaping your work, relationships, and the way you care for yourself. Self-esteem therapy works to ease these effects by helping you build a steadier, more balanced sense of who you are.
Low self-esteem can be part of a current problem (e.g., depression), a result of other problems (trauma), or a problem in itself and a risk factor for other problems. In many cases, self-esteem counselling is an important component of treatment, as low self-esteem can also act as a risk factor for the development or maintenance of other mental health concerns.
To arrange professional self-esteem therapy in London or online, you can make contact here.
What causes low self-esteem and low self-confidence?
All individuals have a negativity bias, which means negative information, experiences, memories, and thoughts are held onto far more than positive ones. Negative messages affect the lens in which individuals see the world and create a filter on how they view themselves and others. Perception creates a person’s reality, this means that if an individual has negative thought processes, they will also see things, including themselves, negatively. Therefore, poor self-confidence and esteem is the outcome of a person’s poor view of oneself and capabilities.
Cognitive behavioural therapy for low self-esteem involves working through an individual’s history to gain an understanding of why this condition has developed.
There can be many different reasons for low self-esteem and low self-confidence, typical causes include:
- Negative early experiences in childhood
- Punishment, neglect, abuse
- Difficulty in meeting parent’s standards or peers
- Role given to individual from caregivers/parents
- Unhealthy relationships
- Relationship breakdowns
- Unresolved trauma
- Loneliness/sense not of not belonging
- Internalised shame
- Societal and cultural messages
Low self-esteem and low self-confidence often develop in childhood or adolescence but can also develop later in life. Negative core beliefs are the conclusions we arrive at about ourselves, given the negative experiences we have had. To cope, people develop rules and assumptions that protect them from the full weight of these negative core beliefs, allowing them to function in everyday life.
The behaviour our rules and assumptions generate is unhelpful because they keep our negative core beliefs intact. As long as we stick to our rules and assumptions, our negative core beliefs remain, and hence our low self-esteem stays.
Therapy can help enhance self-esteem. CBT therapy for low self-esteem focuses on breaking negative thought and behavioural cycles that the individuals have become stuck in.
What are the symptoms of low self-esteem?
Different symptoms and behaviours associated with low self-esteem include:
- People-pleasing
- Negative self-talk
- Difficulty building healthy relationships
- Comparing yourself unfavourably to others
- Persistent self-doubt
- Difficulty in making decisions
- Poor self-image
- Neglecting self-care
If you feel you may be struggling with these symptoms, you can schedule a cognitive behavioural therapy assessment for low self-esteem, online or in-person at home, by making contact here.
CBT for low self-esteem and low self-confidence
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective, evidence-based approaches for low self-esteem. Rather than only addressing how you feel, it works on the negative thought patterns and self-critical beliefs that keep low self-esteem in place.
In sessions, you’ll learn to notice and question self-critical thinking, and to replace it with a fairer, more balanced view of yourself by building genuine self-compassion rather than forced positivity. CBT also focuses on practical change: assertiveness, setting achievable goals, and gradually testing out the unhelpful rules and assumptions that have kept your self-esteem low. Over time, these shifts tend to build on one another, and a steadier, more confident sense of self begins to feel sustainable.
Working with an experienced London CBT therapist makes a real difference to this process. Tara O’Donoghue is BABCP-accredited with over 17 years’ experience helping individuals s with low self-esteem and low confidence, available both online and in person, and tailors each course of therapy to the individual rather than applying a fixed programme.
What to expect from therapy?
Therapy usually begins with an initial assessment, where Tara explores what’s brought you here and what you’d like to change. From there, sessions are weekly and typically last 50 minutes, working together at a pace that feels manageable for you. CBT for low self-esteem is collaborative and structured; alongside her sessions, you may try out small practical steps between them to build on the progress we make. The number of sessions varies from person to person, and this is something we review together as therapy goes on.
Over time, the aim is for self-criticism to lose its grip, so you can approach yourself, your relationships, and everyday challenges with greater confidence and self-compassion.
Contact
Taking the first step can feel daunting, and there’s no pressure in making an initial enquiry. You can access self-esteem CBT in London, in person in Marylebone, at home, or online from wherever you are. To arrange an assessment or simply ask a question, please make contact, or email info@homebasedtalkingtherapy.com.