CFT Therapist London | Compassion-Focused Therapy

For individuals struggling with self-criticism, shame, or a persistent sense of not being good enough, Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) offers an evidence-based approach to developing self-compassion and emotional regulation. CFT looks at how our minds react to threat and how we can build a more resilient regulated , steadier relationship with ourselves. Working with a CFT therapist in London either in person or online, can help you respond to yourself with more understanding making space for personal growth rather than harsh self-judgement which can cause mental stagnation and anxiety. Tara O’Donoghue provides CFT that is shaped around your individual difficulties rather than a fixed programme, to support lasting change. The following explains how CFT works and what to expect.

What is Compassion Focused Therapy?

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) is a type of talking therapy that helps you manage difficult emotions and develop a more supportive, understanding relationship with yourself. It is built on the idea that persistent shame, self-criticism and self-blame keep us feeling under threat, on edge, tense, or braced for something to go wrong; which can affect many areas of life, from work and health to relationships. CFT can be helpful for a range of difficulties, including anxiety low mood and helps improve emotional regulation.

CFT describes three emotional systems that we all have. The threat system keeps us alert to danger and drives fight, flight or freeze responses. The drive system motivates us to pursue goals and get things done. The soothing system helps us feel safe, calm and connected to others. In many people the threat system becomes overactive while the soothing system is underused, and CFT helps to bring these back into balance.

CFT can help reduce shame and self-criticism by gently shifting your focus towards greater self-compassion. It uses practical techniques such as guided imagery and breathing exercises, to help you feel calmer and more settled. It also looks at where harsh self-criticism comes from, whether that’s our early relationships, the messages we absorbed growing up, or simply the way the human brain is wired to protect us, so that you can develop a kinder view of yourself and others.

What does self-compassion actually mean?

Self-compassion isn’t about making excuses, lowering your standards, or pretending everything is fine and it’s not simply “positive thinking” or repeating affirmations. It means learning to treat yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a good friend who was struggling. CFT is a psychological therapy that works with the patterns of shame and self-criticism underneath, rather than just telling you to think positively. This modality allows us to draw upon wisdom and understanding utilising encouragement to move towards what might challenge us, rather than avoid.

Tara O’Donoghue offers CFT across London, with online sessions and in-person home visits available. You can get in touch to find out more or arrange an initial conversation.

What does CFT involve?

Each individual will receive personalised therapy but CFT sessions often involve some of the following:

Exploring the self-critical patterns you notice and where they may have come from
Getting to know your self critic understanding its origins, needs and fears
Learning skills to reduce the pull of the self critic
Understanding shame and other difficult emotions, and how they affect you
Noticing when your threat, drive and soothing systems are out of balance
Building more compassionate ways of responding to yourself
Development of self compassionate coaching
Practical exercises such as guided imagery, breathing or attention work, where helpful
Reflecting on what you’re noticing between sessions, where appropriate

Therapy is guided by your own individual difficulties rather than a fixed programme.

The psychologies of compassion: attributes/engagement and skills/alleviation/prevention. From P. Gilbert (2009). The compassionate mind

Am I suitable for CFT?

CFT may be a good fit if you recognise experiences such as a harsh inner critic, ongoing shame, feeling “not good enough,” or finding it hard to be kind to yourself or to accept kindness from others. It’s also often used to help with depression, anxiety, low self-confidence, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Some people find self-compassion extremely difficult,it can feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even undeserved. This is very common, and gently working through that difficulty is a normal part of CFT.

If you’d like to explore this further, the Fear of Compassion Scale is an optional questionnaire some people find helpful for reflecting on how they relate to compassion. It’s simply a starting point for thought, not a diagnostic tool.

What happens when I get in touch?

Getting started usually begins with an initial consultation about what’s bringing you to therapy and what you’d like to change. From there, you and Tara build a shared understanding of your difficulties, consider whether CFT is the right approach for you, and agree on a plan for how therapy will work. Sessions typically last around 60 minutes and are usually held weekly, though the overall length of therapy and how often you meet depend on your individual needs rather than a set number of sessions.

Meet Senior Psychotherapist Tara O’Donoghue – CFT Therapist in London

Tara O’Donoghue is an experienced Senior Psychotherapist offering therapy in Marylebone, Central London, through home-based appointments, and online.

She was trained in Compassion Focused Therapy by Professor Paul Gilbert OBE, the founder of the approach, gaining post graduate certification in this modality, and much of her work centres on helping people who struggle with shame and harsh self-criticism. She has taught and run workshops in the UK and abroad on building shame resilience, and is BABCP-accredited.

Her approach is warm, evidence-based, and tailored to you. Therapy begins by understanding what you are experiencing and what you would like to be different, rather than applying the same plan to everyone. From there, you work together towards clear, meaningful goals, the aim being not only to ease self-criticism and shame, but to help you build a kinder, steadier relationship with yourself that lasts beyond therapy.

Contact

If a harsh inner critic or persistent shame is weighing on you, CFT may be able to help. You can get in touch here or email info@homebasedtalkingtherapy.com to arrange an initial conversation.